Yesterday my sister put her Victoria's Secret bras and panties into my washing basket by mistake and I got to handle them. WIN!

After consuming copious amounts of alcohol last night, I woke up sometime this morning with the devil inside me. I still made it to work. WIN!

Last night, my grandma walked in while I was jerking off my boyfriend- on the couch under the covers. She apparently didn't notice, said we looked cute together, and walked off. WIN!

Today, I realized I'm no longer "the fat kid". WIN!

A week ago, i drew a T-rex in math class. I labeled it "Shaq the Chistmas Dinosaur" with the tag-line "IT'S CHRISTMAS HOOKER!!!!!!" and hung it in the hallway. It has yet to be taken down, and every teacher who walks by it laughs. WIN!

Made it home this morning without falling asleep at the wheel. WIN!

My sister thought she was home alone the other night and showered without closing the bathroom door then walked around with nothing but a towel. I was home. WIN!

This morning, I managed to cram about two days of my recent work-effort into one hour! WIN!

Today, a kid tried to ollie down a set of 6 or seven stairs on his skateboard. He proceeded to fall off before he left the floor. I watched. WIN!

I just retook a test for my degree and passed. Now my future is secured. WIN!