This morning, I managed to cram about two days of my recent work-effort into one hour! WIN!

Today, a kid tried to ollie down a set of 6 or seven stairs on his skateboard. He proceeded to fall off before he left the floor. I watched. WIN!

I just retook a test for my degree and passed. Now my future is secured. WIN!

I can't sleep, so I'm just gonna go buy some red bull and pull an all nighter listening to 80s metal! WIN!

I made a BEAUTIFUL desperate housewife smile after a terribly sad day. WIN!

Today I was exposed to asbestos, 60 degree temperatures, dehydration, rat poison...and I didnt die! WIN!

Dated a girl, moved her to my place and there she told me "undress yourself, I only got 30 minutes left". BANG. After that she went home and I decided to go out to a club. Pulled home a hottie with D-Breasts and BANG again. After that she told my she wants my as her fuck-buddy. Best night ever. WIN!

Had 2 naked lesbian strippers on my living room floor on the weekend...WIN!

Earlier this year we won our Aussie rules grand final! And last week our whole football team got the bulldog emblem tattooed on them! WIN!

Yesterday my father raped me... and I LIKED IT. WIN!