Last night, I made a girl cum 3 times in a row. WIN!

Today I saw a monkey at the zoo pleasuring himself and I threw my feces at him! WIN!

Today my mom served a turkey for dinner, I'm a hardcore vegetarian so I had sex with the turkey earlier that day, everyone said it tasted better than ever. WIN!

Today I discovered Ihadawin.com I then comenced to read every single entry baked out of my mind. My dad came home to find me hunched over on my computer baked out of my mind. He had brought me In-N-Out. WIN!

I was at a party and we had to play this game where you wear a blindfold, then you have to kiss another person who's also wearing a blindfold. Someone grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into someone's lips. It was a good makeout - turned out to be my sister. She told me afterwards in private that she enjoyed it. WIN!

Today, I got my cock pierced. WIN!

Last night I mixed E with weed and booze. Had the best sleep of my life, and I'm slightly stupider than before. WIN!

So I had all this money today, lots and lots of it and was thinking 'yeah chinese new year I'll just cook food. SHOPS WERE CLOSED. Then I'm like 'cool, I'll just get some takeaway' and looked. Minimum order, that's cool I can store and microwave later. NO MICROWAVE. At this point I think I'm going to starve tonight, but then I googled 'singapore delivery open chinese new year' and pizza hut popped up. Now I'm waiting for pizza. WIN!

I found $20 in my girlfriend's vagina. WIN!

My girlfriend was giving me a handjob it was taking forever for me to cum so I jokingly said maybe ur sister could make me cum faster so she stormed out of the room n return with her sister. Her sister then jerked me off while she watched. WIN!