I was eating dinner and a car drove past and honked its horn, which played the godfather theme. WIN!

I went clubbing last saturday, booked a table at one of the finest clubs in town, because I can. It was just me and a buddy, with 12 girls. Within the hour, I was having a 3 way makeout with 2 of the hottest bitches in the club, my hand down their panties. The losers at the other tables were just staring in jealousy. In the end I took 3 of the girls from the club back to my place and I let them massage my cock. WIN!

My twin brother's new girlfriend is uglier than mine. WIN!

I wore a tight little black dress, put on some makeup and went down to the bar. Minutes later I was making out with a german girl I had met the week before. I'm a guy. WIN!

Was at the Regatta on Wednesday. Got this chick with awesome tits to buy me drinks, and being tall I just looked down her top the whole time. WIN!

I just found out that most people find my personal blog by searching "bruno erect penis". WIN!

Caught a bus driver at the end of his shift and got a free express ride to the Regatta. Rocking up to a club like a VIP in the cheapest Limo ever: WIN!

Today I found out that that a combination of V energy drink and 24 hours of no sleep is the best aphrodisiac possible. WIN!

My eccentric Political Science lecturer just jumped up on his desk and started screaming "yes, we can! yes, we can!" ala Barack Obama. This guy is French, about 115 years old, and I'm pretty sure is addicted to crack. WIN!

I'm getting $4500 in overpaid tax from the government. Hookers and blow here I come! WIN!