I am having e-sex with my girlfriend on MSN on a computer in the silent area of my university library. I have an erection. WIN!

I woke up this morning at a house in the middle of nowhere, in bed with two naked girls, a bong on the ground, and the eerie sounds of the The Waifs playing in the background. WIN!

I have mi-goreng noodles for lunch. WIN!

I scored free candy from two canadian backpackers... now I'm hooked on maple syrup lozenges. WIN!

I beat my previous record of a $600 dollar sale on wine today, when in one transaction I sold six bottles, totaling $1671.59. WIN!

Today is new toothbrush day. Fuck yes! WIN!

I had a girl over for sexy times. Post-coitus, she felt compelled to declare to me, "I'm not up for anything serious." WIN!

Last night after a month of fighting me and my BF almost broke up but we sorted it out and today we had the most amazing day together in ages. WIN!

Last night, I was minding my own business at a bar when suddenly 15 little Asian women out on a hens night came up to me, announcing that they were playing a game of "pash n dash". WIN!

This girl in class passed some chocolate to me and I thought she said 'share it' so I ate some. I later found out she actually said 'pass it to Sharon'. Well, at least I got some chocolate. WIN!