Category Archives: Family

Today I got the 2010 mustang I wanted for my 16th birthday. WIN!
I went to a masquerade party on New Years Eve and ended up taking a relatively drunk girl home with me. Halfway during intercourse she mumbles, “I think I’ve been to this place befor......
I was home alone one night and my sister brought her boyfriend home – thinking there was nobody here. They went into their room and I heard her mention “blindfold”. I pushed he......
Yesterday my sister put her Victoria’s Secret bras and panties into my washing basket by mistake and I got to handle them. WIN!
My sister thought she was home alone the other night and showered without closing the bathroom door then walked around with nothing but a towel. I was home. WIN!
Me and my father have just made a pendant out of a bullet. WIN!
Someone tried to break into my house but my dog defeated them and sent them running. WIN!
I saw a kid fall over in the park today and I was far enough away I could laugh out loud. WIN!
I was babysitting these 2 little shits who kept running around throwing lego at me, so I slipped some vodka into their juice and they fell asleep. WIN!
 

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