My girlfriend was giving me a handjob it was taking forever for me to cum so I jokingly said maybe ur sister could make me cum faster so she stormed out of the room n return with her sister. Her sister then jerked me off while she watched. WIN!

My girlfriend and I went to Brodies and ordered a quarter chicken with chips. They accidently gave us two. WIN!

Last night I went down on my gf for the first time and her pussy tasted like a vanilla cupcake. WIN!

I bought a vitamin water and three came out of the machine today. WIN!

Today I hit on the waitress that was working with me at the restaurant. At one point I started dry humping her in front of one of the security cameras. I think I'm gonna get laid off this one. WIN!

I'm getting a hand job while watching land of the lost... I should watch this more often. WIN!

I make my girlfriend cum everytime we have sex and I'm asian. WIN!

After graduating and finding a full-time job, I saved enough money within 6 months to pay off my entire HECS debt - and I did! WIN!

Today, I was arguing with this guy on the back of the bus when he called me gay in a raised voice. I managed to use the line, 'I'm gay?! Dude you're so far in the closet you're in Narnia.' The whole of the bus laughed and clapped, the guy I was arguing with got off the bus and they all clapped some more. WIN!

Paypal decided to put $45 into my account for being a "valued customer". Free money! WIN!